My own eternal return has gotten back to me. I have begun to erase you from my life, partially, because this will take many hours of strong work but at least I have taken the first steep. I am by my self again, I don't need to phone anybody or show that I care, and the very last thing I won't do anymore is to lie and say that there are things that don't bother me, that I don't care. I don't need to lie anymore, I don't need to pretend anymore. I don't need things that I don't really need.
I could say things like:
I don't know how am I going to survive without you.
I can't imagine my life without you.
I can't stop crying.
I can't live anymore, I am going to kill my self because I can't understand the world without you by my side.
But I can also say:
It's better this way, because there's nothing to save between you and me.
You were the crow I assisted, now that you have your wings and your bones in the right place, you can fly away.
I have been through this before, I have always left these houses with many bags hanging in my shoulders, and today was not the exception. I have left many farewells already. I have dropped many tears before too and I have believed that I would not survive. First cut is the deepest, this is not my first cut is just another failure. One more in the list, not the first, not the least.
No more sad songs, no more sad looks, no more anger among us. No more "us".
This is the End, of the past.
1 "yo opino's":
shivering...
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