Monday, June 06, 2011

This kiss we never kissed

From far, far away, looking at sunset, I realized that you and I wear wedding rings with other names inside. My name is not my name anymore and you have less hair on your head. I will never forget I loved you so long and so patiencefully, and that after that movie, many years ago, we should have kissed, if they wouldn't have rung the bell. If we had kissed less men would have been on my bed and right now I wouldn't be so far away, with a different name, losing my identity, with my heart so lost, so confused, fighting with my ideas, my words and my dreams . Maybe not.
I want to think that it is like I think it would have been.

We didn't kiss and everything went the other way.
You lived your life.
I lived mine.

I found love and so did you.

My love for you was just another kind of love. A love that never became passion.

And what if we would have kissed that day and I wouldn't have liked you? I guess I would be right now sitting in the same chair looking at the same lake and the same mountains, with my heart and mind in conflict.

I loved you, once upon a time and I still don't know why I didn't keep trying with you.
I gave up, and somehow I regret it, but not not so much.