Thursday, May 17, 2007

That's the way I see you. As a child. You did something wrong, a prank, and you didn't want to get caught. But they still did it, when you were doing it, you were seen, in fraganti, by them, by her.
I see you like this, on your knees, crying as a child, with your eyes even more red than when you came to my arms the other day, you couldn't believe it, you didn't know how to accept it, I don't know what you were feeling, but you came to me, to find a refuge, warm and loving arms to take you to the relief.
You're on your knees, you want to be a model, you don't rebel, you always say yes, you always ask for forgiveness, you don't know what you feel, you don't go out, you don't turn on your telephone, your computer, you don't open your eyes. You want to have it all.
I don't know if you'd be surprise for the way I see you, or if you see your self like that too. I don't know what to do with you. You run away from her for five minutes, to tell me that you love me, that you think of me all the time, but I can't buy that, because if on her back you're saying this, what can I expect of the comments you have about me, about us on my back? Will you say the truth? Will you say it was not just a one night stand but thousands? I don't think you're that direct, that sincere, that mature.
And there you are now, I can't see you, but at the same time I do, I see you on your knees, denying everything, asking for forgiveness, for the things not to be over, for another chance, promising things you won't keep. And there she is, contemplating the situation, making you feel guilty, thinking about how you can pay for this better, what can she do to make you feel even more miserable. She's got it, she can do whatever she wants with you, she can push you to do everything, the things you want and the things that you don't want, just because she's got you on her hands and you're too coward to get out of that. That's why I see you as a child, because you don't know what to do without her, you don't know what to do with me either.
You don't know anything, and I am not supposed to know the things for you, because she already does, and it is enough with her controlling your will.
Come back to me only because you want to do it. I don't need to tell you anything, and it's not in me the intention of doing it. If you get back, do it because you still have a little bit of will to live your own life and do the things you want to do.
I will always follow what my heart says. Just like always, like when we met and I knew that this would happen, exactly this way.
Ich liebe dich, ich kann dich nicht verändern, ich will es nicht, ich kann dich nicht von was überzeugen, ich will es auch nicht. Ich will nur, dass du frei seist, in der Sinne, dass ich Freiheit verstehe.