Our black flowers

Today we've become black flowers, one for each one. From early morning we began and stopped our conversations, according to you, there's nothing else to say and you don't want to bother me, I told you that you don't bother me, perhaps I am lying, I know I am lying, as you said, you'll always be a part of him, and he'll always be a part of you, that will always bother me and is going to be unbearable at some point, but I don't how long will I be with this face, with this skin and with these lies. But now, he is a part of me and I am a part of him, and that must bother you as well.

I don't know anything about how things are going over there, I don't have how to know what you've been talking about, what is what you've agreed, what he's said, what he's denied, what he's accepted, if he has begged you for a second chance, if you're willing to give him a second chance, if he's described me as a mistake, and so many "ifs". I try to focus and think as clear as I can, but I am confused as well. I am totally isolated here, I am keeping my distance, as it should be... but I need to know!! I can't bear this curiosity, is killing me. This uncertainty is bringing me down. I have no idea about anything. I haven't gotten news about anything. But, why should I? If i got here as an intruder and I kept on digging and digging this tomb, and he got here as a bandit who helped digging this tomb as well.

Now, he is what you've left, maybe what you don't need to have, because his lies and his betrayal, because you noticed he didn't appreciate you enough to grow up. He is what I take, as you left him, but actually I took him before you were even thinking on leaving him, I am taking you a thorn away from your heart, and I am setting this one inside of me, in some way.
At the end we didn't really teach him anything, we did everything, and he's just going where he's welcome. He didn't decide anything, we made all the decisions. We need to stop his lies, his silences, his betrayals sometime. We know that he doesn't let go what he has, he doesn't want to lose a single piece of the things, he wants it all. When you're there he wants to be with you but he's confused because he doesn't want to lose what he's got here, his confusion is to loose all that he wants and face him self alone.
I have my black flower here with me, my own pain in my heart, I have paid already enough for everything, and I am about to take his weakness as a challenge to deal with.