Million of pieces of broken glass is the material and shape of my invisible heart. That is what I have, that is what you face, but I don't think you're smart enough to notice about that because I am already smarter than you to hide this.
I sometimes don't have any single idea of what might go through your head, but I've got the written evidence that tells me I can't trust you, and the videos recorded in my mind that, at the end, tell me the same thing. I am sorry fellow but the evidence against you is more than eloquent. There is nothing you can say or do to mend my trust towards you, there is nothing in this world to be done for me to believe in you again and take away from my being this longing for other bodies in order to make you pay this bill with unfaithfulness from my side. I won't ever be quiet until I think and believe that you have paid enough according to me.
I hardy can bear this pain that causes me the dichotomy of loving you for one side and not being able to trust you in the other side. I belive that love and trust should go together, hand in had, but I can't mix my love with my trust for you. So it makes me feel deeply confused and hurt to feel something so huge and on the other side feel so empty because even if you say that you'd give everything, even if you show that you're doing things to keep me happy, even if I hear you saying that you love me, that you miss me, that you need me... a part of me wants to believe and be blind and happy with your words and signs, but this other part of me can't take these words, can't be pleased with your performance, this part of me will never ever in this lifetime be pleased... so doesn't matter what you do, you will never ever fulfill its requirements.
It hurts me till I finish crying because I can't trust, I can't, I can't, I can't trust in you!!!!!! But at the same time, I can't stop loving you... You break me in many pieces, I am like loving and caring mother, that loves you and would excuse you, but in the other side, I am the prosecutor that will look for evidence against you in order to judge you in my own court, and I am going to be the judge that will convict you. It's too much for me... I don't know how to defend you, how to find something against you and condemn you at the same time... if I only could just love you, quietly, sincerely, with trust at once.
No, it would be too much for me... I think. I don't know such a feeling. I am sorry, whatever I say or do, i t ' s i n m y n a t u r e.
I sometimes don't have any single idea of what might go through your head, but I've got the written evidence that tells me I can't trust you, and the videos recorded in my mind that, at the end, tell me the same thing. I am sorry fellow but the evidence against you is more than eloquent. There is nothing you can say or do to mend my trust towards you, there is nothing in this world to be done for me to believe in you again and take away from my being this longing for other bodies in order to make you pay this bill with unfaithfulness from my side. I won't ever be quiet until I think and believe that you have paid enough according to me.
I hardy can bear this pain that causes me the dichotomy of loving you for one side and not being able to trust you in the other side. I belive that love and trust should go together, hand in had, but I can't mix my love with my trust for you. So it makes me feel deeply confused and hurt to feel something so huge and on the other side feel so empty because even if you say that you'd give everything, even if you show that you're doing things to keep me happy, even if I hear you saying that you love me, that you miss me, that you need me... a part of me wants to believe and be blind and happy with your words and signs, but this other part of me can't take these words, can't be pleased with your performance, this part of me will never ever in this lifetime be pleased... so doesn't matter what you do, you will never ever fulfill its requirements.
It hurts me till I finish crying because I can't trust, I can't, I can't, I can't trust in you!!!!!! But at the same time, I can't stop loving you... You break me in many pieces, I am like loving and caring mother, that loves you and would excuse you, but in the other side, I am the prosecutor that will look for evidence against you in order to judge you in my own court, and I am going to be the judge that will convict you. It's too much for me... I don't know how to defend you, how to find something against you and condemn you at the same time... if I only could just love you, quietly, sincerely, with trust at once.
No, it would be too much for me... I think. I don't know such a feeling. I am sorry, whatever I say or do, i t ' s i n m y n a t u r e.
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